People often now ask what our food means. But what happens when our food literally spells something out? A form of popular creativity often treated with derision – namely, salads in which ingredients form pictures or words – is here read as an instructive example of the production and reproduction of patriotic ideology on the Russian internet. After a brief consideration of connections between salads and discourses of nation and class, this article considers pictorial salads in the context of postmodernism in art, architecture and politics. I propose that the way in which images of these salads are shared and discussed is typical not only of the antagonistic, politicised space of the Russophone internet, but also of the online “prosumption” of images in general, which, I ultimately suggest, does not empower and liberate, but rather replicates the constrictive scopic regime of Socialist Realism.